Even unconventional, seemingly no-care folks like me get embarrassed.

Anyone who has ever worked a tradeshow knows how utterly exhausting the days can be. You stand on solid concrete, covered in one-inch carpet, donning 5-inch heels for 8 hours straight. You have to talk and laugh and shake hands and repeat your pitch a thousand times to a shit-load of people, and you’re more than likely hungover while doing it, (most tradeshows are followed by cocktail parties that seem to go into the wee-hours of the night).

I was working one of those shows, promoting Hot Rawks, and had attended one of those after-hours social thingy’s. I was tired and a tad drunk, but still felt compelled to sit in the lounge of my hotel and have yet another glass of wine with myself before heading up to my room.

“I’ll take a glass of GOOD Cabernet…and please make sure to serve it in a glass,” I said to the bartender.

“Sick of the boxed wine served in a plastic cup at the convention hall?” he responded as he proceeded to open a bottle of red.

“How’d you guess?”

He nodded at my nametag, still in full view.

“Good call.”

After finishing my wine, I stumbled to the room and collapsed on the bed. My feet were throbbing and my body was buzzing. Just as I was about to pass out, I was startled by the alert of a text message coming through my phone. It was my current love interest, requesting a steaming hot session of phone sex. I hesitated for a moment, then felt overwhelmed with the desire to do just that. (I call it the Hot Rawks/red wine sure thing factor)

So, I started by sending him a pic.

Fast forward. It was another agonizing day of schmoozing, selling, and standing. My business partner had asked some associates to come to dinner with us, and they had agreed. We were both tired, but that’s par for the course at these events.

After the show, we met out in front of the convention center to share a cab with them. Since there were four of us, my partner sat in the front seat and I sat in the back, sandwiched between two men we happen to do a lot of business with. Might I add that these men are seemingly conservative guys, very well-spoken and gentleman-like.

The following conversation went like this:

My business partner: “So how’s the show going for you guys?”

Gentleman on my left: “Going very well. We have made lots of contacts and this has been a great show. How about you guys?”

Me: “It’s gone well for us, too. We are excited about the partnership with a new distributer. Things couldn’t be going better!”

Gentleman on my right: “That’s great! Hey, I heard about your display in the new product showcase! I can’t wait to see it tomorrow.”

My business partner: “Hey, Julie took a picture of it on her phone yesterday! Julie, why don’t you show them the picture of our display?”

Me: “Ok, great idea!”

I proceeded to dig my phone out of my purse while the two business acquaintances patiently peered over each one of my shoulders in anxious anticipation of the photo I was about to show them.

I opened the “My photos” tab on my phone. Keep in mind we are all three sitting, cramped, in the back of a taxicab. The guys are hovering, and watching my phone with the type of fixation that’s reserved for needlepoint sewing, or brain surgery for that matter. What happened next was so unbelievingly mortifying I can’t even translate it in words. Let’s just say that there I was, sunnyside up, bare-breasted and posing seductively. Oh….my….God.

I slammed the phone down on my lap but not before both gentleman got a good solid look at my mammarys, in full view in all their glory.

“Well? Julie, did you show them? What do you guys think? Looks great, doesn’t it??” my business partner said, emphatically.

Crickets chirping.

“We spent a lot of time on that. It’s a real piece of work, isn’t it?”

More crickets.

“Well?” he turned around to see the three of us, doe-eyed and speechless.

Guy on my right: “She’ll look for it later, won’t you Julie?”

He turned and looked at me and shot me a sympathetic half-smile, in an attempt to reassure me that there was no need for the embarrassment I was flooded with.

I cleared my throat, “Yeah, I’ll show you later. Besides, pictures don’t do it any justice…you really need to see it in person.”

Guy on left: “I bet we do.”